| Description | (Dated at Cooperage.)
Respected Sir,
Fearing lest I shou'd by my visits seem to solicit more of your attention than is proper, or compatible with your multifarious concerns, and that your politeness may induce you to give me audience at Soho when inconvenient to yourself, I now resort to the mode of communicating my ideas that you once suggested to me; which for my own part I think far preferable, and hope you will not think less respectful, than waiting upon you personally. In this method, shou'd my notes fall into your hands at an unseasonable time, they can be laid by 'till a vacant moment and answer'd in such manner, and at such time, as may be most pleasing to you.
At this juncture I feel it particularly necessary to intreat your attention at an abstracted interval, as the subject of which I am about to treat is not in the direct line of, tho' most immediately connected with, the business of our projected concern; and although consequently less entitled to claim your kind indulgence, stands yet in great need thereof.
You remarked, very justly, on Sunday last, that cheerfulness is most essentially conducive to health; and I may add, judging from my own feelings, that it is also (like hope, of which it is the offspring) a main-spring to every mental and corporeal exertion, impelling men forward, in every direction, towards the completion of their enterprizes. You have, sir, let my uncle say what he will, done all that cou'd reasonably be expected to inspire me with cheerfulness, and it shall be my constant endeavour to testify my gratitude on every occasion; but most especially in giving all the possible energies of my limited powers to the business I have undertaken. Yet, with all the generous encouragement I have received, I am not cheerful; I am not happy. A dead weight hangs upon my spirits and clogs my exertions. My untoward circumstances are the cause of the unhappiness I express to you;-they are so much worse than I had any idea of! Instead of having, as I fully expected, at the settling Mr. Freeman has just effected of the several concerns of Deykin & Cheshire, Deykin, Cheshire, & Smith, and W. & J. Cheshire, a sum to receive, I am found, now the aggregate of the losses is ascertain'd and those concerns finally clos'd, a debtor £165! this sum, with £200 on interest from Mr. Barker on the security of my leasehold houses, reduces my finances to so low an ebb, that, I can raise nothing in aid of my present occasions, and can hardly be said to be worth a shilling. Luckily, it is to my uncle Mr. Freeman that I fall indebted the £165, and there is no reason to apprehend that he will trouble me for payment of the principal-and that is all the favour I ever expect from an unfeeling relation who, ever lavish of advice, has been most scandalously parsimonious of assistance, denying me, in every attempt at a respectable establishment in life, that fair and unquestionable claim I have upon a man, who took me at the age of five years from parents who wou'd have done the best they cou'd for me; far better were it for me had I never seen my uncle, and ever shall I lament that impertinent officiousness which prompted him to withdraw me from home, to make me first the envy, and now the scorn, of relations whose advancement in life, out of the sphere of his influence, has been greater than mine in the full meridian of it. Cou'd my Uncle charge me with having merited his cold neglect, I wou'd not speak reproachingly of him; on the contrary, he must own (for he is just, tho' ungenerous) that the whole tenor of my life, 'till within the last two years, when I began to imagine it wou'd be to my advantage to think and act for myself, has been most devotedly at his direction;-twice went I to America at his instance (not as a principal) and twice returned I at his call, and although I had eleven years ago a written promise of assistance (which I suppose he has forgotten), I have not yet received it. I am now near 33 years old and am yet (can you believe it, sir) consider'd too impatient to launch into business, and have given, I believe, eternal offence because I did not "apply for a clerk's place in some of the numerous warehouses in Birmingham" instead of applying to you.
But I beg your pardon, sir; I forget myself, and the value of your time; pray forgive me. I return from digression to the immediate subject of this epistle, first observing that I wou'd not have digress'd on the subject of my uncle but for this plain reason: you wou'd naturally think him the fittest person for me to apply to in my embarrassments, and deem me impertinent in addressing on this delicate subject a gentleman to whom I am so little known; but, to say nothing of the vast dissimilitude in your characters, I must take leave to remark, that, I have made up my mind never again whilst I live to ask any kind of pecuniary favour from my uncle, even were I to be driven to the last extremity, and forced to succumb.
In the present dilemma I have only the consolation to reflect that I have in my leasehold more than sufficient to discharge all my debts; but the sale of my little property is what I cou'd wish, at this crisis when all kinds of property are in an unusual state of depreciation, to avoid, if it be possible. I would not presume too far upon your goodness, sir, and if the request I am about to make be so improper as to be inadmissible, I shall feel your refusal thereof as a rebuke that I have a consciousness of meriting, and in that case I trust your candor and benignity will interpose and spare me the great pain and mortification I shall suffer under the idea of not being pardoned for this intrusion.
Will you, sir, advance me the amount of the little stock of tools that I furnish to the embryo concern and take them to your own account? the same to be charg'd back, with the moiety of the whole stock, when my circumstances are sufficiently improv'd, or to be dispos'd of as you see fit shou'd the business miscarry (of which on my honour I have not the least apprehension whilst you continue to sanction it); such advance wou'd support me 'till returns may be expected from the business, or, at least, 'till my allowance for services in conducting the same takes date and becomes due: that stranger, cheerfulness, wou'd then make a welcome return to me and I shou'd pursue, with redoubled ardour, the object on the successful issue of which depend, all my hopes of happiness, and in which my reputation is so much involv'd.
I refer my suit to your well-known liberality, which, if the event prove I have presum'd too far upon I shall nevertheless remain, with great esteem and respect, sir, your obliged humble servant,
Wm. Cheshire
[Edited transcript.] |